Enduring Loss...and Living Despite It

My dead fish....it hurts to see things become lifeless, lose them

I'm trying to blog with a phone again! Most bloggers have gone past this stage. But here I am again, trying to hit my fingers on a keypad and hoping to make some sense, any sense at all.

Loss is human. We lose things, on a daily basis - our time, personal items, money, trust and even loved ones. Last week, we buried an uncle; so saddening. I was grief-stricken that it may have ended right there for him: all the visions, missions, ambitions, dreams, all gone. He lived what would be called a good life, I'm not about to read his biography. It was hard to believe that he's gone. That's life. How's it possible that there could be life after death? For those who believe, there's life for the living. Whatever is believed of life after death is personal to each one of us. I shall leave it so.

My lessons on enduring loss after the loss of my property in the USA and my fish taught me to embrace peace. My property got lost because of pride. People are wont to control other people. I find it funny when adults need to control fellow adults without respect: there's a boomerang. It almost always happens that way. But it hasn't been all loss and no gain. Even for my nascent acquaculture experience, there has been a lesson or two for me overcome my brooding. Here's a few things to consider if you have suffered tremendous loss, whether it's personal or communal loss.

• It's not the end except it is: Death happens to be the final point for most experiences. If the loss is money or physical property or anything that's transient know it's not the end. If you lost a loved one, look into that person's legacy and make meaning out of it. You may create a trust fund, foundation or memorial in such name. Don't get a new name and identity in order to defraud or impersonate, this is a crime. I know some schools/hospitals were named after great people such as Wilcox Memorial at Aba, Abia state or Pedro Memorial Hospital, just think creatively and credibly and live well.
• Look inwards: What happened? How might you salvage the loss? Do you intend to replace or forgo it?Why did you lose it? A little soul searching is not a beat-yourself-up session but an opportunity to foster learning.
• Live in gratitude: Gratitude doesn't mean servitude. It doesn't mean eye service, where everyone sees you being nice and good while you are of a different species behind closed doors. Gratitude's an attitude that shows you are fully aware of your opportunities (limited or not) and have accepted help\aid from a generous source. It doesn't make a fool of you but humbles you to know that you can be better with all that life has given you. Gratitude is the antithesis to pride: a grateful person isn't proud, whether she's the receiver or the giver. Wait! You thought only receivers should show gratitude? Think again. Be grateful for the chance to be the giver; that should only humble you.
• Take stock of what you have: Many people sing 'Count Your Blessings.' I count my blessings and I also take stock of them, write them down. I hate it when people abuse privilege to make God of themselves and/or others. It happened to me recently, with my experience with a family in the USA who safe kept my property for me for 6 years. I didn't receive all that I needed back or thought would return from abroad. The couple wasn't transparent in my last encounter with them (it takes a lot to be an honest person full of integrity) - it takes years of keeping promises. Instead of getting worked up forever over what I can't change, I decided to take stock of what I received from this man. I am waiting to receive over forty (40) of my books from this family. I took stock of what I received while waiting and I'm lot happier. I should add that this family hasn't collected any monies from me for the shipping not a dime - am I kidding? No. (I hope that's not in exchange for my books, though. No, thank you!) Although all my personal care products in this batch have EXPIRED, I'm finding joy in using them! Someone pilfered my Sally Hansen nail polish. Oh! Don't get me started on the 'rats' in my family house. They'd die if there's nothing of mine to steal. These products had been in storage for about 7 years. Now, I'm using my trash can to farm young fish (fingerlings) like the ones in the picture. When the fish are grown, I shall move them to a large space.
• Plan ahead: Despite your loss, plan for the future. My bank account is in the red but I hope to not let what happened to me reoccur. For instance, I'm not going to put me in tight corners, ask weird people to run errands for me (or do errands for weird people either), not have/keep a job for long, not have enough money for school, not have an economic skill, etc. Planning ahead saves one from a lot of embarrassment and hardship. No lesson is learned if you keep making the same mistakes. Learn wisdom, gain knowledge.
• Live today. Live well. Live strong: I love to read books. I love to walk dogs. I love to go to the movies. I love to earn money (in a sane economy, thank you, USA). Find out what you love to do and live your life despite your loss(es).

#Inward Vision Ventures is an ambitious quest to discover what makes us strong in spite of all life chooses to throw our way.