Things out of UI: #TOOUI - More 'Friends'

 ~ Setting the record straight....

Each year, a possibly rogue entity called the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB) opens its portals to candidates from the age of 16 to sit for its Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME, UME in my time). I wrote my first examination in 1997 (for the sciences) and repeated the examination in 1998 (for the arts), which was the one that brought me to the University of Ibadan, having pursued the initiative than going to Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, my second choice institution. I had no inkling that I could encounter scammers, schemers, thieves and cult men and women and cabals at school. I had to choose my university based on the information given in the JAMB/UME brochure. Nobody told me that I was going to be part of a personality cult following or that I would be sidelined despite my achievements if I didn't have an Idol. I wouldn't have gone to that school. There was no orientation for me as I was still chasing a bed space if any was being held. So, I went to school to learn, not to adhere to silly cults. I didn't realize that there were loafers who had the time to spare or predators that were preying on unsuspecting students while everyone else was trying to get an education. To many, attending UI was an all expense paid (by other students) trip to Ibadan to foment trouble. Instead of students, I saw a brigade or syndicate of prostitutes bereft of good conscience. It became a University of ironies, fomenting trouble rather than building character. Schools aren't where mad people converge. Mad people converge at asylums. Once beaten, twice shy. 

The burglary was the most nerve wrecking experience that I endured at UI. I couldn't believe what anybody who was given to such evil thought about. I couldn't have executed such a dastardly act and I didn't know the culprits till date. I carried on with school and managed to complete the second year of my four-year tertiary education. What I had for luxury was a bedroom in a two bedroom BQ - boy's quarters with just a reading table and chair for furniture. The rooms were upstairs and we shared the facilities. I had gone calling on a contact I got from my mother's office. Her boss, Mr Ben Nwogu told me that a sister in law of his schooled at UI and gave her address to me. I went calling on her to ask where anybody could find safe (and sane) agents for housing. I also asked if she knew of any free accommodation around her area. She told me that the room next door was vacant and gave me the contact of whom to contact. The rest would become history. One hot afternoon, I met Mrs Sola Ajayi and brought her to my apartment to show her my new place. I didn't realize that I was probably uncultural in living off campus. But nothing was going to get me to live in the UI halls of residence again! It was afterwards that my apartment was burgled. I didn't think that there was a parallel between her visit and the burglary. I also wouldn't think the burglary took place before her visit. 

Year 3:

Ms Philomena Ngozi Nwoko: She owned and or kept a German shepherd named Pharaoh, a healthy dog that gave me quite the scare when I called on the owner (like it did to every stranger around). I wasn't very sure how I first met Ms Nwoko on the UI campus. I would later find out from her that she didn't live on campus even in the first year. In Year 3, I was already stuck with in graduating UI with a degree in Igbo. It was set, unfortunately. Even an attempt to combine my course with Linguistics wasn't successful to my great disappointment (it was the late Professor Asein's fault). Phil (as she was called by some of her close associates) was friends with one Rita who allegedly passed away in our second year at school. They were often seen together. On one occasion, the friend was very ill and had to sleep in one of my Theatre Arts (with then Dr M. Umukoro)  classes while the class was ongoing. After the class, I asked the lady if she was ill. She replied in the affirmative. I joked that she was possibly pregnant knowing that she was a newly wed. She didn't answer and I left the query often taunting her that married women would always hide their condition from prying eyes. A few months later, we heard that she was dead. And a candlelight procession was done in her remembrance. They both were students of Classics (Classical Studies) or so I was made to believe. I felt really disturbed as it was in such time that Joanne Oriabor had also died. Ms Oriabor also was studying Classics. It seemed that death was the exit drama for most UI students. Why that was chosen, I wouldn't know. I lived at Bodija but one day Ms Nwoko came calling at my apartment. I wasn't sure if she came looking for me or my roommate, Ms Uzomah who was away at the time. But we exchanged greetings and she left. We often greeted on campus afterwards. I learnt that she hailed from Umuosu in Isiala Ngwa North L.G.A while I hailed from Obekwesu in Isiala Ngwa South L.G.A. I think we met at an eatery behind UI swimming pool complex. Being a fellow Ngwa lady, I became more trusting of her. On one occasion, while I walked to Bodija market I met her on the way. I asked if she lived in the vicinity and she pointed to her house. It was the back way to the famous market that served most of Ibadan. It was afterwards when I had moved to Kajola Street at Agbowo that I began to visit with her. She never attended any of the Federation of Ngwa Students (FNS) meetings or events. I believed that it wasn't her thing to do. Perhaps her experiences at her previous alma mater or a personal choice. 

However, she was familiar with possibly all the members of FNS UI chapter. For instance, there was that event at my room when she suspected that I was cheating on my boyfriend at the time one man who called himself Chuks Ebite, a law student of the University. An Ngwa man, one Solomon Kanu whom we called Reverend of Religious Studies had come calling on me at Bodija and left. Ms Nwoko walked into my compound and asked about his mission to my house. I told her that it was for camaraderie but she didn't believe me and insinuated that my creased bed sheet would suggest something taking place. I told her that I sat on the six spring mattress while I offered my reading chair to my visitor who refused to take it and joined me on my bed. I was cross with him and an argument ensued. He wanted to get naughty but eventually I told him that it was better for him to leave before my boyfriend called on me. He had gone to the East (Aba) and I had asked him to help me receive financial assistance from my mother. We usually chatted at the Faculty quadrangle each time I had stopped to greet him as was the custom of Igbo people. Younger people usually greeted their elders. He was allegedly completing his postgraduate education in Religious Studies in our faculty of arts. This time, he insisted on visiting me off campus and I obliged his request without knowing that he could be up to some mischief. Or that he was used to frame me. Ms Nwoko recognized him so it was likely that she knew other members of the FNS group even without attending the meetings. I didn't have any sexual relations with any Ngwa person while attending the University of Ibadan including Ms Philomena Ngozi Nwoko because they were petty gossip and very vindictive. 

 I don't have any experience with lesbianism (except in infancy/childhood and I can only blame the adults for that of treachery) and wonder why anybody would think otherwise. Frankly, I've possibly jeopardized my reputation and credited my detractors with the choices I've made. For instance, I was roommates with a lady who fortunately was mostly absent from the house due to her frequent trips to Lagos. I was a lone ranger and faced my studies squarely. I had attended an all-girls secondary school at Aba and the naughty girls would do things to other girls in their sleep. I had to quit boarding school. I was Woman Editor of the Union of Campus Journalists (UCJ) of the University of Ibadan. I shared a room with an older woman (Mabel Ezeobi) during my NYSC at Air Force Comprehensive School, Ibadan (Ile Igbon) in 2004/05 and it is up to her to redeem her integrity on where, why and how we engaged in the practice. On my honour, I had no sexual relations with her. Nigeria had to bring a shameless woman over 30 years to spy on my during a mandatory national service. In fact, I was so miffed that I had to share a bedroom with strange woman (for a piece of paper called Discharge Certificate) that I began an affair with a male Air Force officer. Nigeria had a way of forcing nonsense into my life. For my LDS Church mission, I was sent to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA and lived with 43 young women at different occasions, staying with at least 16 of them at close range and nearly for 24 hours for 18 or more months. I attended the Program for Women in Politics & Public Policy at the University of Massachusetts Boston, USA. Actually, I nearly fell out with one of my female lecturers because I sent her a heterosexual wedding card for her lesbian wedding. I'm sorry that this is TMI - too much information - but I'm setting the record straight. I hope I apologized because honestly now, religion is nothing but an organized means of controlling (other) people. Founding a non-governmental organization (GIDOWAC) to defend Women & Children must have also labelled me lesbian. Haba, people. I should watch it, right? But what do I do? Stop talking to women or looking at them or living with them? I don't lust after women. Haa....not even the Okoro sisters nor the other Mormon women in Ibadan got me into it. It's not in MY CHARACTER to be a lesbian. It must be the secret gold these days as nobody really talks about it. To the best of my knowledge nobody has complained about my lesbian overtures or catcalls. So? I'm just interested in intelligent women or look at problems affecting women as a personal calling. I compliment women without thinking it a great feat. If some woman is beautiful, then she is. She needn't be kissed or cuddled to be beautiful. As a matter of fact, I don't speak to many of the girls from High Schools for calling them out on lesbianism. I guess being single generally has pegged me lesbian? God forbid. That's why I quit attending church. I tell myself a joke that if you want to meet the Christians you go to the shrine but if you want to meet the demons you go to church. I guess that the LDS Church or my family has worked really hard at this branding of me. Shame on all of them. If you are bold enough come out and tell me your lesbian encounter with me while I was fully awake. No, I don't put myself in places where people get away with it while I sleep away.

I moved away from Fadeyi Street because our rents were increased and I didn't see need to pay more. My roommate and I entreated our landlady's son, a doctor with the University College Hospital to rescind the increase but he would not. My roommate moved away and I followed suit. I was going to year 4. She, Ms Emilia Uzoma, was going to repeat her final year and didn't need to pay again. She allegedly moved in with a reverend father relative of hers at Bodija. It was now that I began speaking with Ms Nwoko. I didn't know why our rent was increased but it must have been in good faith.

Year 4: Moving to Agbowo was regrettable. But I was thankful for a space to complete my education. I asked around for accommodation and discovered that one Ms Ozioma Okereke was moving into campus for her final year. I asked if she was letting go of her off campus accommodation. She said she might keep it until she graduated and I told her that I needed a space off campus. We decided to split the rent and she moved into campus but kept some of her personal effects at Agbowo. She stayed on campus, in Queen Elizabeth Hall for her last year. I didn't fully understand what I would accommodate on off campus. Her landlord was Muslim and lived with two wives. One of the wives operated a shop by the window of the house I rented. The children made lots of noises and it wasn't really the most conducive environment for a final year student. I decided to stay in the school most of the time using the libraries and going home late in the evening. It was at this time that I began to frequent Ms Nwoko's house. I happened more than ever. I spent some nights in her room because she lived alone. On one occasion her town's man and boyfriend, Emeka, came visiting and I left. I wasn't dependent on her in any way except for gist, which centred on work-life-love relationships with men and never prostitution. I never depended on any man on the UI campus nor its environs for my upkeep. I believe prostitution to mean the exchange of sex for money or gain. Tell me what other definition you have for that lexicon. She lived with two or more Urhobo men (one Odiri and Richard, and perhaps others) who also attended the University of Ibadan (UI).

Ms Nwoko wasn't my lesbian friend. God forbid. I had no idea that all it would take for people to be labelled lesbians would be sharing confidences. She kept none for me. She readily would divulge whatever I shared with her to entertain anybody within hearing shot especially a visitor of hers. We never had any sexual contact. In fact, I often wondered what she meant when she often said, "Dr. Chiaka was come to replace Rita." I thought Rita, who passed on, was her bosom friend. Chiaka was a UI student who lived in a hostel close to Ms Phil Nwoko's place. The all-female Catholic hostel was called Aster Hostel. I had met Ms Chiaka in Ms Nwoko's place and often left them for my own house. I wasn't scorned, I believed that she liked her company better for what she offered whatever it was, I didn't know. Ms Nwoko called me "Nwanne", which meant that we were sisters, Ngwa sisters. It was how I left it. On one or two occasions she offered me hospitality and I accepted without thinking much about it. We exchanged visits in Aba during one Christmas holiday and ASUU strike. I accompanied her to visit people or run errands. I had no idea that I wasn't "behaving." I wasn't raised Catholic and didn't know global taboos. I read no Harry Potter novels and I wasn't up to any mischief. As far as I was concerned, one good turn deserved another. She had been to school at the University of Lagos, Akoka and changed to UI. According to her, she didn't think that a degree course in Igbo offered to her at UNILAG was going to take her far. I was in a similar programme at UI, so what gave? Would I leave Igbo for Classics? I wasn't sure except for assuaging the illiterate minds of Nigerians. Who spoke Latin or Greek even in Europe? But Classics was interesting as I borrowed a few electives from them to learn of medieval Europe and its strange ways especially among the Romans.

UI ended without me realizing what to make of an acquaintance whom I knew was many years older than me. I had confided in Ms Nwoko of my affair with a lecturer in Benin. The next moment, she was disclosing what I said to a visitor of hers, one woman whom she nicknamed Barrister who came calling on her. The lady was dating Emeka's brother and they were both students (or graduates of Abia State University, Uturu). She brought some roots she cooked for her painful menstruation and I asked her how I could get the roots for my own predicament. But the lady refused to disclose the identity of her healer. I didn't know that people would make bones of such information. That the lady to whom Ms Nwoko would start sharing my talk about Dirikon Teilanyo. Honestly, if I had strength of character that should have been the last time I would speak to that traitor. She was no teacher of mine. Hypocrisy wasn't the way to live a life of character. She claimed Emeka was her first boyfriend. I didn't think it was the moon and I could have shared my life with a malicious trickster. So, be warned if you ever read this piece. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. The drama would have stopped at UI and not have continued into Air Force Comprehensive School and thereafter. 

It was unfortunate that I attended a church where people traded gossip for FOOD. Students had different levels of autonomy. Some got money from their families while others depended on themselves for upkeep. Many resorted to prostitution and gossip exchange for their livelihood. They wandered around like demons looking for whom to torment or derail. Many students never finished school because of those gossip demons belonging to all fellowships on the UI Campus. Gossip exchange could come in many ways. Sometimes the student who came to tempt you would still return to gossip about what transpired between you to others who then traded up the gossip. It could be smoking weed or gay banging or having sex with the opposite sex. Now, I think that Ms Nwoko did that. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, had students who did no work for a living. I didn't know why it quickly rounded people up to come to UI to build a circle of gossips. Ngozi Okoro came alone to UI and possibly complained about loneliness. This was possibly what brought the Mormon gang to UI. There was Manasseh in Political Science (who dated Chastmier Okoro for many years) the year after but no set saw many LDS Church students like mine, the 1998/1999. Since, it's been one cabal or another.

For NYSC, I went to Air Force Comprehensive School, Ile Igbon. Andrew Ikubor, a Mormon, came calling. I didn't know why I was posted to AFCS and what it has to do with anybody whose name started with the letter A. What creed supported such idiocy? I was surprised at his visit but he's fond of prying so that was him, prying for a living? There were the Ajayis but I never visited them during this time. Ms Nwoko was posted to a secondary school at Apati, Oyo State after the NYSC orientation in 2004. She reported to her place of primary assignment and informed me that she was assigned to teach Literature in English. I wondered why our plan to serve together at IITA didn't work out for either of us. I had hoped that it would work for her but it never came to be. As far as I was concerned, Ms Nwoko came to visit AFCS, Ibadan after I was gone from my corps service in 2005. She never told me if she had been there ever before or while I was there until I asked for a favour of her in 2005. I have never sent her to a place that I have returned to in peace. That must be the magic of witchcraft. Like most Lagos women, it was their right to know your age and date of birth, they never tell you one year belong to them. Even your own date of birth belongs to them. I didn't need permission from anybody to attend the University of Ibadan. I only sought permission from JAMB through its University Matriculation Examination (UME).

Nobody would go to the University in search of ENEMIES. I consider it normal for people to meet friends at school. But everybody mustn't be a friend. Those who aren't friends aren't supposed to be 'frienemies.' Some men came to school to lay all the women in the circles. Some women followed suit, having sex with all the men to the women in their lives. I didn't know any man who hadn't a girlfriend before attending the university. None of the women I called 'Friends' ever mentioned being married, being mothers nor having been married before. The University was filled with women of diverse sexual preferences and audacity. Some came with religious creeds forbidding them to accommodate differences. Many came with assumptions of who you were or ought to be. At my age, it wasn't ridiculous for me to have turned down my admission into Igbo. I believe that it was given to me as a gift. Yet, it was treated with disdain. Hence, my admiration of Ms Nwoko who left the course at UNILAG to pursue Latin and Greek at UI. Still, I didn't know the relevance of Classics to the Nigerian economy as Europe only kept it as a historical heritage than a useful course of inquiry. It was like being asked whether you preferred your own parent to your friend's parent because the latter bought a car for their child. Haba! Are there no uses for Igbo in the country? But it was foolhardy not to have taken heed to avoid people who pried to rid you of integrity and validity.

Prying led to the burglary of my room probably in search of their heads in 2001. Nobody owned up for it. The University could denounce students who participated in cult activities. Did it rid lecturers of the same temerity? UI was a crystal ball. You never knew what to find in it until you looked inside. Many of the men thought that the women were fertile ground for planting their illegitimate seeds. They made no efforts to woo women properly and do the needful. Many strikes embarked upon by ASUU were to hide some of those illegitimate and possibly unnecessary pregnancies for lecturers. What are we even running, a country or an asylum? It doesn't make sense to me that anybody would rid this country of CORRUPTION until all the mad men and women of Nigeria were dead and gone. Character is not what another must have. If one doesn't owe oneself any bill of conscience why then does one seek the character of another? I made the regrettable mistake of introducing my family to Miss Nwoko in 2003 and later in 2010. It became a Pandora's box that I have never been able to close.

...to be continued.