Things out of UI - The Boyfriends

How much could you tell about a University from a mere brochure supplied by an examination body? My guess is not much. It would have been nice to learn a little about University life before my adventures at the University of Ibadan. This wasn't merely October Rush. It was sheer madness....

I came to the University of Ibadan with high hopes of securing higher education. I believed that my life and aspirations weren't going to remain the same after a University education. A school like the University of Ibadan, which was reputed to be among the best in the country was going to make that dream come true. I had lived at Aba, Abia State, which was located in the South-eastern part of Nigeria. Commuting between the city of Aba and Ibadan in Oyo State, South-western Nigeria took at least 8 hours bus trip. Plane rides were hardly the norm, nor could a student like me have afforded a flight. I looked forward to such bus trip and thus began my meetings with one of the men that I'm about to share here. I haven't been in touch with many of them in many years and don't intend to. To me, they came and went away. One asked about me only after I was in the USA and that wasn't even cool. Who needed a fair weather man?

I was running around looking for fun nor did I miss classes in order to be with men. Not at all - my main job was being a student and I faced it squarely. I was determined to be in a loving relationship and I tried a few times to grow close to some men I met in UI. In retrospect, I have found them to share common traits. This has opened me to the possibility that some bad person was holding them from actually being true to me. In my opinion, not one was worth being called a friend let alone a boyfriend or lover. Maybe I was more forgiving than was necessary or ideal or the devil was in the details. 

1. They were insincere men who bargained sex for love.
2. They were all studying English themed courses/programs such as Law, Medicine, Pharmacy, Linguistics, Education, etc.
3. They never bought me gifts nor gave money for my upkeep, not even for a hairdo. Haha...they were stingy gah! No birthday gifts, no pencil, no pen, never bought me a meal, nor paid my taxi fare to school or around Ibadan, there was no handkerchief, no souvenir, only one or another bought one Valentine's Day card. Kpere!
4. They never met me with another man or other men as there was no other when I tried to concentrate on my studies in Igbo. Yes o, I studied Igbo as I would have studied Law...haha! Na yams?
5. None paid me for sex as I never demanded for money. Haba...they were students. Typical of what's termed Friends with Benefits today. But they were actually people I thought I was in a relationship with. 
6. They never helped me out with schoolwork. How would they when I was a student of a leprous course of study? To think that most of them were Igbo or of Igbo descent. No, they weren't a classroom of lovers nor a football team. Over three men behaving alike should get one concerned about being used.
7. I never lived with any of them. No, I didn't have a live-in lover nor did I have male flatmates. Hey! but I was a high flying heterosexual lady.
8. None ever called me on the phone as I didn't have a phone. I didn't buy into the rush for cell phones.I graduated university in 2004 and got my first cell phone in 2005 nearly halfway through my NYSC. A gift but not from any UIte whom I met in Ibadan. As a matter of fact, I was hoping that the general street madness (GSM) would pass away but alas! MTN has just celebrated 20 years of getting Nigerians talking on the phone.
9. They all accorded me no respect and some of them possibly condescendingly. It appeared that I studied Igbo because I had the world's most useless intelligence quotient (IQ). Haba...Ndigbo. Nobody is going to make you the king you think you deserve to be.
10. The relationships were non committal from the beginning. I didn't press it. I had school to do. Men were merely a cherry on my ice cream.
11. None was young or immature. They were mostly older by me, some by 5 to ten years difference. 
12. They probably all gossiped about me. Why? Who paid for the gossip? 
13. They were mostly non LDS/Mormon. I wasn't into Mormon boys who were doing the merry-go-round. They came to service all the ewes in the LDSSA group and I didn't like to share my men or nick a man.
14. I was under no debt nor oath of virginity or celibacy but practiced discipline.
15. I didn't discuss other women with any of the UI men as circumstances of our meeting didn't warrant such. 
16. They all knew that I was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints now the Lucifer-Devil-Satan Church as the members compete for vainglory.
17. They were culturally diverse from one another but only one was Yoruba. I didn't have intimacy with any Ngwa man with whom I attended the University of Ibadan.
18. There were no talks nor agreement of what to do with an eventual pregnancy with anyone of them. Actually, they were the most irresponsible lot whenever a woman fell pregnant - UI undergraduate men, I mean. It was the epidemic.
19. While they were lovers too many, I did try to date one for a long time - nearly too years - who was the oldest and the most using of me of them all. Today, I would consider them cult men even though none of them came out to renounce cult activities nor mentioned being a member of a cult to me. 

I didn't understand why no relationship grew out of all the contacts that most students of the University made. If ever, only a few undergraduates courted to marriage and hardly were the students getting married to each other. Why UI?